2009 G.P.S. : Paying Attention

"Attention is the intention to live without reservation in the here and now."

Timothy Miller

"Everything in life is speaking, is audible, is communicating, in spite of its apparent silence."

Poet Hazrat Inayat Khan

Paying Attention is a deliberate act of being aware. In order to do this best, one needs to be quiet and listen. It is a matter of using our senses to observe three basic aspects of life: things, people and self.

When we take the time to observe our environment, we can find meaning in the simplest of things. Think of all the ways a flower inspires us. In a flower we see love and romance, wonder and beauty, and a condensed view of the cycle of life. The authors of the book, "Spiritual Literacy", suggest that everything in our life can be a source of meaning and even sacredness.

"Be prepared to look long and steadily at things. They will speak to you and reveal themselves......moments of grace, epiphanies, and great insights are lost to us because we are in too much of a hurry to notice them. Slow down or you'll miss the good stuff." (pg. 53)

Sometimes in those moments in which we are being an observer of our world, we simply enjoy a triggered memory that has meaning to us. There can be much joy in remembering. Once upon a time in my own life, I spent several years living on a tropical island, 6,000 miles from home. One Christmas, I remember standing in the open pavilion of the island's airport, sending someone home for the holidays. In the midst of saying goodbye and greeting people who were coming off the plane, I caught a whiff of something familiar to me, but foreign to the island. I turned and looked to see a Christmas tree being carted through the lobby. It was just your average pine tree, not too big, but I wanted to run over and put my arms around it and bury my nose in its needles. Several of the American kids who were with me all had the same idea. It wasn't long before a little crowd had gathered around that tree, oohing and ahhing as we stuck our noses in the branches and breathed deeply of the pine scent. You would have thought we were tasting the most delicious of foods or watching a fantastic fireworks display for all the sounds of awe were were making. That unique smell of Christmas took us all back to wonderful times with our families who were so far away from us that particular season. I remember being surprised at how a simple smell could trigger a flood of emotion and warm thoughts.

As I look around this little room in which I am writing, I see several objects that remind me of someone or something of value in my life. I've never been one to cling to stuff. In fact, for me, getting rid of stuff can be very therapeutic! At the same time, even when I am in a mood to purge myself from the clutter that sometimes piles up around me, I am careful to keep certain items that hold meaning for me. Paying attention to those things can turn the ordinary into something special and meaningful.

The next aspect of deliberate attention giving can be the most difficult for many of us; paying attention to people. This doesn't just mean sitting in a mall watching everyone as they walk by. (Although, that can be quite an interesting learning experience!) It involves learning to really listen to words and the body language of those we come in contact with. So many times we get involved in a discussion and all we are thinking about is what WE are going to say next with no thought to what the other person is saying. I've done this much more than I'd like to admit. My archaeological nature to dig into the human psyche can ironically cause me to miss that which is sitting just on the surface of another person's experience. I'm so busy thinking about the next question that I want to ask, that I miss the response just given!

In relational conflict, the ability to pay attention is essential. Instead of striving to get our own point across and prove that we are right, the situation can best be resolved by doing nothing but listening and paying attention to all aspects of the conversation. Sometimes being the watcher instead of the player can benefit all parties! As a wise friend recently said,

"I have learned that being an observer and not a participant of the game is the best option for my own heart and my own energy. But the observer does have power. The game may be played differently and experienced differently by the players just because someone is watching." (Gay Arner)

For myself, I know that there are a few relationships in my life that have never really worked. I've always thought that if I would just keep working harder and digging deeper that all would eventually be made right. I don't know how many times I've thought that things had been fixed and I anticipated a fresh start, to have it all blow up in my face again! The blame game doesn't work here, either. Sometimes things just ARE! And sometimes it is best to let them be. That means I have to pay close attention and recognize when it is time to simply walk away.

Paying attention to myself is the next aspect of this resolution. I've touched on this in another thread titled, Home is Where the Heart Is." I want to continue learning to listen to my own heart and more importantly come to fully trust what my heart is trying to tell me. Reflection of the past has shown me that my heart knows truth and CAN be trusted. It's my job now to really believe that.

At this point, some might ask why I didn't mention paying attention to God. For me, that is a given. If one is paying attention to things around them, to the relationships they encounter and their own heart, then they ARE paying attention to God. Since mankind was banished from the Garden of Timeless Unity, for the most part, God speaks to us through things and people. And most importantly, His Spirit dwells in our hearts if invited in. Thus the resolution to pay attention will only enhance our relationship with God. And this brings us to New Year's resolution # 3: Savor the Experience!