Forever Learning

Lately, I've been feeling rather sad and melancholy. Not so much because of anything that is being done to me, but rather because of the circumstances swirling around me. I have a tendency to absorb any angst or tension that I bump into, even when it is not my own. It has been my intention this year to avoid conflict. I've done my best to limit my news watching, stay uninvolved in heated discussions of politics and religion and focus on positive contentment. This resolution was a reaction to the local political upheaval relating to my career last year and the aftermath of ending a long marriage.

I've had my months of relative quiet and peace. In my heart, I knew that the calm most likely preceded a time of possible trial and tumult. So here it is looking me in the face, clawing at my insides and sending my brainwaves on a roller coaster ride of emotions. The financial woes of the world have crept up to my doorstep creating a climate of fear, numbness and anxiety in my workplace. People that I care about are facing difficult decisions and change in their own lives. An opportunity has shown itself to me and I'm left with wondering if the risk involved is worth it, while at the same time knowing that I don't want fear to cause me to miss a good thing.

King Solomon once said that there is nothing new under the sun. Sometimes it is hard not to think that our own stressful circumstances are unprecedented and yet we all know that what we are going through is truly ordinary and universal. Sadness and melancholy will invade our world. That's a sure thing. When they show up to go walking with us, what then?

I recently came across this quote and it got me pondering once again:

" 'The best thing for being sad,' replied Merlyn, beginning to

puff and blow, 'is to learn something.

That is the only thing that never fails.

You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies,

you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins,

you may miss your only love,

you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics,

or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds.

There is only one thing for it then - to learn.

Learn why the world wags and what wags it.

That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust,

never alienate, never be tortured by,

never fear or distrust and never dream of regretting."

- T.H.

There seems to me much wisdom in these words. So many times we try to push our emotions of sadness and depression away. We tell ourselves that we shouldn't feel this way. We attempt to squelch, cover-up and eradicate any negative feelings or thoughts that invade our being. Instead of fighting against such emotions, what would happen if we asked ourselves what we could learn from their presence?

It's been a bit of a battle, but I have been trying to do just that lately. Some days melancholy wants my full attention. It dares me to deny its existence and if that doesn't work it tries its best to overwhelm me and cause me to wallow in its pain. However, I am finding that if I simply acknowledge its presence and ask myself what I can learn from it, then the angst begins to dissipate and a subtle kind of peace makes an appearance.

Of course nothing is ever simple. There is one aspect of the quote above that I tend to disagree with. I think that if allowed, our minds can fear learning. Fear is a favorite companion of melancholy and depression. It crashes every emotional party that it can and does its best to gain all the attention. Learning cannot happen if we are afraid of what we might learn! That is why I continually turn to the most comforting words found in scripture:

"Do not fear!

I am with you always!"

In the midst of sadness and melancholy, I will choose love over fear and I will ask myself what I can learn. I'll keep you posted!

Happy Easter Weekend!

-Lindylou