Remembering Motherhood

Of all the words in the English language, I think that the word "mother" is a word that evokes the most intense and conflicting feelings in each of us. No other word can make us feel such deep feelings of love and at the same time cause great frustration. In my own circle of friends and acquaintances I've seen a wide range of emotions directed towards mothers - love, devotion, adoration and pride, as well as loss, resentment, indifference and rifting anger. It is my guess that Mother's Day is one of those yearly occasions in which one can find a huge variety of responses to.

I have to admit that for myself, there were days in my life in which I took my mom very much for granted. There were times that my childish, immature mind tried to convince me that my mom didn't really love me. I was so wrapped up in my own selfish world that I failed to understand and perceive the depths of her love for me. On becoming both a teacher and a mother myself, my eyes have been opened to the difficult task a mother faces in order to balance so many crucial roles in the upbringing of children. I now know with a certainty that I am beloved of my mother and that she is my friend.

I do understand, however, that my own experience cannot be the measuring stick for anyone else. There are people that I care for very much who have broken relationships with their own mother. A few others have lost their mother at a much too early age. And there are those who despite their deep-seated desire to be a mother, have found themselves childless. For these adult children, Mother's Day can be depressing and painful.

In scripture you will find a variety of metaphors that are used to describe God. He's been called our husband, our lover and our friend. In Psalms 91 and Luke 13, the metaphor of Christ as mother is presented. God is depicted as a mother hen who gathers her chicks beneath her wings in order to protect them. It is my belief that the Bible paints a picture of God as being everything to us. He is there to fill any void in our heart, even when we feel a sense of loss in regards to ourselves as mothers or in being mothered.

A few years ago I was pondering Mother's Day from the perspective of a friend who's own mother passed away far too early in life. I wanted to encourage her and any other woman who found herself hurting on Mother's Day. Here's what came to mind:

I Must Remember

Mothers with their daughters,

I see them everywhere.

Shopping, Primping, Disagreeing,

Sharing confidences over coffee,

Laughing together in moments they share.

They come in all shapes and sizes,

Mothers with arms that enfold

in comfort and pride,

With lips that tenderly wipe away tears,

Fingers that tickle and know just how to hold.

And I am bereft, because I am without.

Too early, my mother passed from this life into sleep,

Leaving this daughter's heart mournful with loss.

The image of her face has become blurred,

But the pain is still vivid and deep....

There are memories, and yet....

Yearnings still linger in my heart,

First love, first home, first born;

Milestones of my life not completely satisfying

Because she was not there to take part.

I long for a chance to pick up the phone,

To tell of my joys, to just hear her voice,

To be soothed by her words

And embraced in her love,

To share disappointments and events to rejoice.

My loss becomes poignant sorrow,

On this special day for Mothers,

For I am left empty-handed

With nowhere to send my thanks or cards or pretty flowers.

And yet.... I must remember....

She may be gone,

But she lives on within me,

And there is one gift I can give even now;

When I look in the mirror and I see her face,

I can smile and say, "I love you."

With sincerity and grace.

~lindylou

If Mother's Day evokes loving thoughts for you, be grateful and consider yourself blessed!

If this day was difficult because of a strained relationship, hold on to the truth that God fills the gaps and mends the hurts. God the Father is also God the Mother!

If this day reminds you of loss, know that whether you like it or not, you carry a part of your mother inside of you. Acknowledging that fact and making peace with it will help you make peace with yourself!