Reflection

When we first discover mirrors as little girls, we want to look at our reflection in them all the time. We dance and strut and grin at ourselves with delight. As we get older and discover boys, we spend many hours in front of the mirror making sure that we look just right!

Then come the years of having no time at all to look in the mirror - we are so busy with our families, our jobs and our homes. We pride ourselves on being able to get ready for our day with only five minutes in front of the bathroom mirror. And if we were really honest, we would admit that we are happy not to reflect much on our slowly expanding midriffs, the specks of gray in our hair and the wrinkles around our eyes. In time, we learn to get by with not looking at ourselves at all.

When was the last time that you really looked deep into your own eyes? Can you even do it now? Who do you see? The trouble is that women in particular, tend to evolve into creations of other people's expectations. We become conforming, pliant blobs of clay that we let other people punch, twist, pull and form into images of what they want us to be. Somewhere along the way, we lose the unique essence of who God made us to be. We become invisible to ourselves.

This disappearing act can begin at any stage of our life. For many, the seeds of invisibility are sown in childhood. Whenever it happens, it happens because of a failure to receive nurturing in a safe place. Basic needs are not met. Emotional or physical abuse occurs. Tender, budding, giving hearts are bruised. But women are strong and resilient - at a price. We disappear in order to survive. And we do survive!

The good news is that while we may lose a sense of ourselves, God has never lost us! The entire book of Psalms reflects the soul's cry to be found by God and the constant reassurance that God has never forgotten the one who feels lost.

"In my distress, I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears."
Psalms 18:6

God doesn't just see us from the outside, He sees us from the inside out. We are His temple. We carry Him with us in Spirit, which means that He is always hearing and knowing us from the depths of our souls! It is comforting to know that in those times that we cannot see ourselves clearly, God sees us crystal clear and loves us just the way we are!

The next time you look at yourself in the mirror, look with confidence that whoever is staring back at you is someone who is near and dear to the heart of God. Perhaps that will give you the courage to discover yourself again.

The Makeover

On this day, I walk with confidence, my head held high,
On top of the world, sure I'll accomplish whatever I try.
From the inside looking out, I see potential up ahead,
My step is light, my focus clear, I know exactly where I'll tread.

A sudden glance in a window I pass by, stops me cold.
A woman stares back at me, a bit worn out and looking old.
Her tired eyes quickly look away, as if afraid I'll see inside.
But it's too late, a slowly dawning truth comes and cannot hide.

I turn and walk through the door of self-doubt and self-hate,
Quickly I want to cover myself before it's too late!
Who am I to think I can strut, that I have something to share?
Incrimination dances through my head. How do I dare?

Stumbling through a maze of confusion, I trip over my pride.
I lose my poise and my once sure footing and begin to slide.
A firm hand stops my fall. "Let me help," is whispered in my ear.
I turn and see His kind, smiling face and hear, "Do not fear."

"You've come to the right place. I've been waiting for you!
Let me give you a makeover and show you what's true."
With loving hands, He performs His magic, then dresses me in white,
He stands me in front of His mirror to take in the sight.

Afraid to look, with eyes closed tight, the truth I am unwilling to face.
No make-up can hide the fact that I am undeserving of any grace.
"My child, open your eyes and look at the beautiful woman I see.
It's nothing that's earned, but it's solely a gift from Me!"

I peek and then open my eyes wide, amazed at what's in front of me.
The woman who peers back, stands tall, no flaws that I can see.
"Looking from the outside to deep within, this is who you are,
My creation, clothed in My redeeming love, My shining star."

And so...
On this day, I walk with confidence, with my head held high.........


-by lindylou

Heavy Laden

"The problem isn't time, the problem is heaviness." (Theophane the Monk, Tales of a Magic Monastery)

Some days I'm full of energy and flying high. I feel confident and able to accomplish anything. Then imperceptibly little drops of doubt and fear begin to patter down on my wings. I don't notice them at first. Then I feel a tug and a pull on my heart. I hear, "Who do you think you are?"

The sprinkles become a downpour and before I know it I'm grounded. With a thunk! My energy is drained and I am weary. My soul feels heavy. I feel alone. I stop moving and wonder, "What's the point?" I start to drown in a puddle of self-incrimination and pity.

Can you relate?

What is the heaviness in your life? Sometimes it is simply anxiety over the unknown or fear of change. Unfulfilled expectations, misunderstandings or a sense of not feeling good enough can create weighty burdens on our hearts. At this time in my own life, it is a reoccurring sense that because I have a failed marriage and find myself alone, that I am unlovable. My intellect tells me that this is a silly notion. I have wonderful friends and a loving, supportive family. Reality tells me that I was lonely and unhappy in my dysfunctional marriage. And yet, I sometimes stand in the rain of doubt and self-pity and let myself get waterlogged with fear.

This morning I read an excerpt from one of Melody Beattie's devotionals. It said, "In reality, we're too worried, obsessed, doubtful, overly concerned and afraid. Release all the heaviness in your mind and heart. Let it sink away so you can stand free from its weight. When all that heaviness drops away, you can float through and above your ordinary life. You'll decide how you want to live rather than letting the circumstances of the day control you." (More Language of Letting Go, pg. 350)

How can we let go? It sometimes take great mental energy to release these negative thoughts and rise above the clouds. When I find myself standing in the dark, damp clouds of negative thinking, I have found that a few specific steps help me find some sunshine:

1. Acknowledge what I am thinking and feeling. Denial never works.
2. Think to identify the source of fear. Many times this means discovering the lie that someone
previously planted in my head.
3. Surrender the lie or negative, obsessive thought.
4. Ask God to replace it with truth.
5. Focus on the truth and repeat it out loud if necessary until it becomes a new reality.
6. Repeat all steps as often as needed!

Remember these famous words from Matthew 11? "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest......... you WILL find rest for your souls."